the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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