i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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