oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
