I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize