What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
