But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My room smells like vodka and shame
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
