Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
