im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
