I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
