Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
