its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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