Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize