dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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