Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
