I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
