What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize