he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
