You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
