This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
