What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
