This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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