You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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