Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
