Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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