I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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