Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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