i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
