Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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