Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
