You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
