Banned from zoo.
Again?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
