if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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