There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
