Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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