You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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