if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
