What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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