My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
