Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
