I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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