I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
