you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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