He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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