I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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