hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
