I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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