Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
