Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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