how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
