Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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