I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
