I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize