She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
