so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
