But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
