hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
